


i ran (so far away)

by themrys



Series: At The Singh-Allen House [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bisexual Barry Allen, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-01 05:00:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8609752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themrys/pseuds/themrys
Summary: Barry Allen's life has always been a lot hectic, one would think his dad being the police captain would make it a little easier.It really, really doesn't.(Or, the one where David & Rob Singh adopt Barry after Nora is murdered.)





	1. beginning

**Author's Note:**

> some things are different just so it fits the timeline like when david & rob got married so they could adopt barry and such.
> 
> idk what ships this will have *insert shrug emoji* westallen? coldflash? barry x some mystery dude? we shall see
> 
> title from i ran by a flock of seagulls.
> 
> this is a work in progress! it says 1/1 ch and idk how to change it but jsyk its not done yet omg

The day Nora Allen is murdered, Singh is one of the first people to arrive on the scene. Detective West gets there before anyone else, living in the area and hearing the Allens' only kid frantically screaming. It's a gruesome site, furniture tipped and broken, blood splatters on the wall, pictures of a young boy knocked over in the fight. Worst of all though is Nora's body, lying on her back in the clutter with still damp blood soaking her abdomen. 

When West had arrived, Henry, Nora's husband, had his hands on her chest, attempting CPR and calling his wife's name. The detective hadn't hesitated to pull Henry off the body (swallowing against the smell of blood and the sight of his daughter's best friend's  _ mother  _ lying still, no longer breathing, swallowing against the fact that she was murdered by her  _ husband _ , sweet little Barry's  _ dad _ ). 

Barry comes running back to the house as the cops are leading a handcuffed Henry out. He cries out at the sight of his dad, yelling and screaming, and Singh is quick to grab hold of the boy. He won't let his memory of his mother be tainted by this night, doesn't want him to see his father taken away in a cop car. 

David holds onto sweet little Barry Allen as he cries and vows to help make things better.

~

Barry stays in foster care for a week before David can pull enough strings to get him placed in the Singh household. 

The night of the murder had been a long and tortuous one, Singh staying late at the precinct to console the young boy as they got his statement. He listened to Barry's frantic crying, his steadfast belief that his father wasn't guilty, his claims of the yellow man in the lightning. Singh kept Barry in close proximity the whole time, never being more than an arm's length away. He made sure he was able to quickly comfort the crying boy after anyone tried to get him to tell the truth ( _ It's true! I'm not lying! There was a man in the lightning! He killed my mom! He killed her! He did it! IT WASN'T MY DAD! _ ), tried to convince him that his dad was guilty. 

When the questioning ended, a woman from CPS came to escort Barry to a home for the time being and David's heart clenched in his chest. He didn't want to let Barry go, even though he knew he had to. Despite the deep desire to do so, he couldn't take Barry home with him ( _ not yet _ , his mind whispered).

There was paperwork to sign, Nora's funeral to plan, psychologists to call in to talk to Barry. With all the chaos David hadn't even been able to call Rob and tell him what's going on, to ask about fostering Barry.  

As soon as Barry leaves the precinct, David rushes home, eager to collapse into the arms of his husband. Rob's curled up at the bench window seat in their kitchen, bare feet tucked under himself to keep them from the cold and a book being loosely held in his hands. He'd been waiting for David to get home, his eyes dropping with sleepiness and his face painted with warmth. One look at David's face and Rob can tell the case he was called in for was bad, can tell David was in a desperate need for comfort. 

Rob unfurled from his reading spot, pressing a soft kiss to David's mouth and proceeding to pull him towards their bedroom. He helped David change into pajamas and pushed him into bed, tucking the soft covers over their entwined bodies. Rob was the big spoon that night, pressing light kisses to the back of David's neck. 

"What happened?" Rob whispered, knowing his husband needed to talk about it but wouldn't without a little pushing.

"Murder case. At the Allen's house." David replied, pulling Rob's arms tighter around him. Captain Singh was a strong man but some cases he couldn't keep from getting to him. It wasn't always easy to distance his emotions from his work, especially in situations where children got hurt or, God forbid, killed. 

"The Allens whose kid is best friends with Joe's daughter?"

"Yeah. Nora, uh... Nora was killed. Her husband, Henry. He did it." David's voice caught in his throat. The next words out of his mouth tore him up, scratching against his insides like shards of glass. "Their son, Barry. He saw it.. But he doesn't believe it.. Keeps going on about some man inside lightning..."

"What.. What's gonna happen to him?" 

"He's in foster care right now. Joe would've taken him in but his wife recently came back, dying and with a son Joe didn't even know about. It'd be too much strain on them.." David paused, turning in Rob's arms to face him. "I know we haven't talked about it much but I was thinking and I can't just let Barry stay in the system. God, Rob, you should've seen him. He was so broken up about this whole situation-"

Rob gently shushed his husband before he could start to ramble, a nervous tick not many people knew he had. "David, of course we can foster him."

"I just, I can't leave him-" David went to continue, pausing when his husband's words finally registered in his mind. "Really?"

"Yes, really." Rob replied, loving the way David's face immediately lit up.  

David slept a little easier that night, pleased at the idea of welcoming Barry into their home. He was eager to get into work tomorrow to start filling out the necessary paperwork to get Barry placed with them. 

The day the Singhs took Barry home, both men were full of nerves. They did their best to make the boy feel more comfortable but knew they'd have to learn as they went, like most parents did. The first few months were rocky, with Barry closing himself off to try and cope with his mother's death. It was full of near heart attacks and the adults running off to find Barry at Iron Heights, desperate to visit his dad (which after the first few times resulted in a stern discussion and a reassurance that Barry could visit his dad but,  _ please,  _ just ask first). After that Barry began to warm up to David and Rob, although they still did their fair share of running after him and attempting to keep him out of David's classified case files. 

They did their best to keep up with their only son until one day lightning struck and they realized they couldn't anymore.  
  



	2. what if the storm ends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ch title by snow patrol.
> 
> honestly this whole chapter is longer than any completed fic i've ever written be proud of me
> 
> i had some more things planned to say here but i totally forgot rip me. 
> 
> also! if ur wishing u got to see barry grow up with the singhs never fear! i'm gonna make another part to this that includes that! 
> 
> comments n kudos are much appreciated xx

"Bartholomew Henry Allen-Singh-"

 

"David, honey, does this really call for the full name-"

 

"-you better not be where I think you are or I will have you move your lab downstairs with all the other CSIs!" Barry winced, running his hand through his hair. He was trying to figure out how to get himself in the least trouble possible with his words.

 

"Uh, hey, Dad.. Captain! Uh, I can explain!"

 

"Oh, I'm sure you can young man. Please explain to me why you're all the way over in Starling City and not  _ here _ at the CCPD where you  _ work _ ." Barry cringed, his shoulders rising to marry his ears. David had a very loud bark, as Rob liked to say fondly, and it was one Barry didn't appreciate being on the receiving end of. Although there were very few situations where him getting in trouble wasn't his fault (see: all the stupid pranks and plots Iris has dragged him into over the years), he liked to pretend the whole world was against him. Some days it really felt like it was, with his mother murdered and his dad in jail for it, but then his thoughts would wander back to David and Rob. He'd realize then that, okay, the whole world wasn't against him, maybe just a small part of it was.

 

This thinking however wouldn't keep Barry from searching high and low for the impossibly possible occurrences hidden in everyday life. And it most definitely wouldn't get him out of answering David's questions.

 

"I, I was looking into a case. A really,  _ really _ weird case! And I met Oliver Queen!" Barry rushed, skipping over the details of a man being able to lift a centrifuge. They may have tolerated and even encouraged his curiosity about the unknown as a teenager but that didn't mean they always believed him. "I met Oliver Queen, helped him solve the theft from his company, actually!"

 

"Barry... Listen, you know we don't care if you go on these crazy adventures of yours," Barry could hear David sigh, knowing he was probably massaging his temples in an attempt to alleviate the stress of dealing with him, "but we'd feel better if you told us first."

 

"I'm sorry.. You know how I get about these things." It was hard to remember that not everyone thought you were losing your mind every time you chased after the impossible.

 

"We do and that's why we get so worried about you," Rob spoke up from the background. "We don't want you to get hurt or lose hope, we know how much this means to you."

 

Barry's heart clenched in his chest, so grateful for the fact that they never kept him from visiting or trying to help his dad.

 

"Plus, David might not want to say it but he's worried about you over there with that crazy vigilante." Barry laughed, hearing David try to deny Rob's words.

 

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys I was leaving. I'll be home tomorrow, hopefully in time to watch the particle accelerator turn on with Iris."

 

"It's okay, just remember for next time. We love you." Rob said, David echoing the sentiment. "Be safe."

 

"I'll do my best."

 

~

 

_ "Allen! Allen! Somebody get Singh! Call an ambulance!" _

 

_ The shock waves had rushed through the precinct, followed soon after by an unholy crashing sound from the upstairs lab. If that wasn't bad enough, the crash of shelves and beakers was chased by the boom of thunder. _

 

_ Captain Singh was sitting in his office, looking through the paperwork laid across his desk when he heard the shouts. _

 

_ "Singh! It's Allen, it's Barry!" _

 

_ Singh shot out of his chair at the mention of his son, tearing out of the room and up the stairs towards the lab. He halted to a stop in front of Barry's door, taking in the destruction with a gasp. _

 

_ "No! No! Barry!" _

 

~

 

_ Can't read my, can't read my my poker face... _

 

Barry jerked awake, gasping and clutching his chest for air. The lights shone bright in his bleary eyes and a cold breeze dusted across his unclothed chest. He was barely able to register the voices around him as he stared at his body in shock, confused at the appearance of  _ abs _ . As the redheaded woman poked at his body all he could think about how improbable it was for him, being the nerdy little twig he was, to magically gain abs. 

 

“What happened?” He asked, blinking rapidly in the face of the doctor who was waving an ophthalmoscope in his eyes. 

 

“Dude, you were struck by lightning! It put you in a coma for nine months!” The other man in the room replied as the doctor continued to poke and prod at Barry. Cisco came over with a sweater proudly displaying the STAR Labs logo, letting Barry cover himself. “I’m Cisco Ramon and that is Doctor Caitlin Snow! Pleased to finally meet you while you’re not sleeping!”

 

Barry stilled, his mind freezing at  _ coma  _ and  _ nine months.  _ “The lightning..” 

 

“They found you in your lab at the CCPD, all these chemicals and glass shards covering your body. You, my friend, are lucky to be alive.”

 

“CCPD? Shit, David! And Rob! They are so gonna kill me!” Barry stood back up from the hospital bed, gently pushing away Dr. Snow’s hands. He turned away from them, prepared to leave but stopped at the sight of Harrison Wells blocking the doorway. Barry’s faltered for a moment seeing him the wheelchair, but his mind quickly skipped over it to focus on the fact that he was presented with his idol. “Harrison Wells! Wow, uh, I’m! It’s amazing to meet you!”

 

“You as well, Mr. Allen. Are you headed somewhere?” 

 

“I need to see my parents and Iris, oh god, Iris! I’ve gotta go! Thank you so much for all your help, but I’m fine I swear!” Barry took off down the hall, only pausing and turning around to ask if he could keep the sweater. It was surprisingly soft and the only clothes he had on him at the moment. He definitely had to stop home first, hoping it was late enough in the afternoon for Rob to be home. Odds were David was still at the precinct and Barry would rather surprise him with his awakening some place more private.

 

Barry groaned, realizing that along with having no clothes, he had no money for a cab.  _ Good thing I’ve always been good at running,  _ he thought to himself as he took off down the sidewalk. Maybe he’d have to stop at Jitters to see Iris first and ask for a ride home..

 

~

 

_ “Barry!” David felt helpless, unable to do anything but call for his son as he watched Barry flatline over and over. His body seized, contorting in the ugliest of ways. It made David ache in sympathy and he couldn’t turn away from the sight. He watched as the doctors and nurses rushed to stabilize Barry, only sitting down when his legs became too weak, wobbling under the pressure of the situation and his rampant emotions. _

 

_ “David!” His head jerked up, eyes finding his husband tearing down the hospital hallway. David stood up to greet him, wrapping Rob up in his arms. “Detective West called me. What happened?!” _

 

_ “Barry was struck by lightning in his lab. He knocked over a bunch of chemicals and glass when he went down..” David pressed Rob’s head into his neck, not wanting him to turn around and see the horror of Barry seizing until he knew what happened. “They’re still trying to get him to be stable.. H-he keeps flatlining..” _

 

_ Rob pulled back from his husband, tears in his eyes as he turned around to peer through the tiny windows on the door at their son.  _

 

_ “No-” _

 

_ ~ _

 

“Barry!” Iris exclaimed as he came into her line of sight. She quickly dropped her pot of coffee on the counter, running up and pulling him into hug so tight Barry thought his ribs would crack. She pressed her face into his shoulder, relief washing over her and making her weak in the knees. “You’re up! You’re okay, oh my god!” 

 

She pulled back to smile brightly at him, tears building in her eyes. Barry grinned back, never so in love with her smile. However, the feeling quickly faded when her expression sobered and she softly whacked him on the arm. 

  
“Are you crazy?! What are you doing out of STAR Labs? You just woke up from a  _ coma _ !” 

 

“Iris, I’m fine,” Barry says, grabbing her hands before she can starting whacking him again. “I’m okay. I’m awake and I just wanted to get home, see my  _ family _ .” 

 

“It’s not okay! We all watched your heart stop so many times, Barry.. I-I thought we were gonna lose you.” Tears pooled in her eyes again, Barry feeling like a jerk for making his best friend cry. It wasn’t his fault he was struck by lightning and left in a coma for what must have felt like an eternity to his family, but watching Iris get so upset sure made it feel like it. 

 

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m here now. My heart’s beating just fine.” As Barry pulled her back into a hug he watched as the world slowed down around him. Iris, the other customers, the falling coffee cup, all of it moved as if trying to wade through syrup. It felt like the moment would never end but the cup hit the floor, shattering itself and the slow motion trip Barry’s mind was on.

 

Barry startled, pulling his focus back to Iris.  _ Huh.. Maybe I shouldn’t have left the labs quite yet,  _ he thought to himself, trying to shake off the dizzying feeling. He’d check in with them later after seeing the rest of his family.  _ Speaking of family..  _

 

“Hey, Iris? Do you think you could drive me home?”

  
~

 

When they pull up to the Singh residence, Barry sits in the passenger seat for a good five minutes just staring out at the house. He doesn’t even know why he does it, but he can’t bring himself to leave the safety of Iris’s car at the moment. A distant part of him is worried that too many things have changed in the past nine months, that somehow everyone else has forgotten about him. It’s an irrational fear, he knows from listening to Iris talk about how Rob and David spent every moment they could watching over him in the hospital and then in STAR Labs that his family still cares about him. 

 

Yet it’s hard to reconcile everything with the fact that he saw them all  _ yesterday _ but they haven’t seen him awake in  _ nine months _ . It’s hard to believe they didn’t give up on him in those long months of zero change in his condition.

 

“Do you want me to come in with you?” Iris asks, breaking the silence. Barry refrains from jumping in his seat, so lost in thought about what happened to him.

 

“No.. It’s just.. What if nothing is like I remember it?” Barry sighs, placing his hands on his neck and ruffling his hair. “For them it’s been so long but I feel like it’s just another normal day..”

 

“Barry, it’s gonna be fine. They’ll be so, so excited to know you’re awake. They just wanted you to be okay,” Iris reaches over to place a comforting hand on his shoulder, “and you’re okay. They’re your family, Bear. They didn’t forget about you.”

 

Barry gives her a small, embarrassed smile. Of course his best friend knows what’s really bothering him without having to ask. 

 

“Now go tell your dads you’re fine before I drag you in there and do it myself.” Barry laughs, pushing open the car door and hopping out before Iris can even pretend to grab his ear. 

 

“Okay, okay! I’m going. Thanks Iris.”

 

“You’re welcome, you nerd. We should get coffee tomorrow and I can fill you in on what you missed while you were out.” Barry nods in agreement, waving as she pulls away from the curb. He turned around, walking to the front porch and ascending the few steps there. The maroon house looked quiet, the garage door shut and unable to tell him if Rob was home already. He carefully opens the door, holding his breath as he steps inside. 

 

_ Everything is the same,  _ Barry thinks, letting out his breath in relief. The same paint on the walls, the same furniture in the living room, the same family photos hanging on the walls and sitting on the tables. It all looks exactly the same as he remembers, taking on an eerie quality when he realizes it almost looks untouched. He ventures through the house looking for life, feeling like a ghost. Barry lets his fingers trace across their dining room table, picturing the dinner they had before he left for Starling. It was peaceful, each of them talking about some random part of their day, Rob asking Barry and David how the police department was doing or Barry asking for gossip from Rob's office. They would have family dinners often as possible, when David and Barry weren't stuck at work too late. Nightly dinners were something he missed when he moved out, his apartment meals mostly consisting of out of the box pastas and canned soups with the occasional takeout.  

 

He continues through the room, stopping when he reaches the kitchen and Rob comes into view. His back is towards Barry, his body leaning against the counters to look out the window at their garden. 

 

"Hey D-dad," Barry's voice catches in throat, almost feeling guilty for breaking the silence so abruptly. Rob gasps, turning around and startling so hard that the coffee mug he was holding falls from his hands- _ and there! It's happening again! _  Barry's world slows, the mug taking forever to hit the floor and shatter. He feels dizzy when it ends, jumping at the sound of the mug cracking. Rob doesn't even acknowledge the broken cup, stepping over the wreckage and dashing towards his son. He grabs Barry in a hug even tighter than Iris's, pulling back to run his hands over Barry as if trying to convince himself Barry's really truly okay.

 

"Oh Barry, my baby, Barry," He pulls Barry back into the hug, his breaths shuddering his chest. "Are you okay? Why are you here? Why aren't you at STAR? Should you even be up?!"

 

Barry laughs lightly at his reaction mirroring Iris's. "I'm fine, I swear. I just wanted to be home."

 

Rob acquiesces his hold on Barry, but pushes him onto a stool while he cleans up the mug from the floor. When he's finished he can't help but reach for Barry, Barry letting him indulge in as many hugs as he needs to know Barry's safe. 

 

"I'm so glad you're okay.. You have no idea how hard it was to watch you like that.." Rob sat on the stool next to Barry's at their kitchen island. His hand was rubbing gently up and down Barry's arm. "Does David know you're awake?"

 

Barry shakes his head, "I didn't want to surprise him at CCPD. I figured it was better to come home first and wait for him."

 

"He'll be so glad to know you're awake. He won't say it but it's been hard for him to try and split his time between you and work." The guilt starts building in Barry again, hating himself for making his family worry so much about him even though there was nothing he could've done. He immediately feels ashamed for thinking that they'd ever forget about him, knowing they'd clearly dedicated most of their attention in the past months to him and his health. He shoves the feeling to the side, leaning into Rob and his comforting presence. "But enough about that, we can talk when David gets home. I was going to check on the garden, if you want to join. I can tell you what you missed while we wait for him."

 

"I'd love to," Barry answers, his eyes crinkling with his smile. David hugged him at least three more times as they made their way outside and in the garden didn't take his eyes off Barry once. 

 

~

_ Rob is sleeping in the chair next to Barry's hospital bed, David sitting on the other side and watching over both of them. The beeps from the machines hooked up to their son provide an eerily calming lullaby. Everywhere else seems too silent without the constant beeps to alert them that Barry is still alive.  _

 

_ The doctors all say Barry's vitals are improving but his brain doesn't seem to want to wake up. They're shocked at the fact that he's survived as long as he did, saying he must have been shocked multiple times from the lightning knocking him into the liquid chemicals. The only problem is the frequent seizures and cardiac attacks Barry continues to go into, a strange phenomenon that none of them seem able to explain.  _

 

_ It kills David to watch Barry hurt like that, watch his body twist and turn as if fighting a ghost only he can see. What hurts even more is to watch Rob sit by Barry's side in the calm moments when Barry is finally stable, knowing neither of them can do a damn thing about it. _

 

_ ~ _

 

Rob and Barry stay in the garden for a good hour, pulling weeds and picking the last of the ripe vegetables before the hot autumn weather goes away. It’s always been a relaxing activity for the both of them, starting when Barry first came to live with the Singhs. Being under the sun and feeling the cool breeze puts him at ease in a way he hasn’t been since his mother died. Not to mention the scientific interest it posed for Barry, experimenting with different planting and fertilizing styles for science fairs alongside the typical homemade volcanoes.

 

They head inside before David gets home, Rob starting to prepare dinner. Rob has never seen his husband so shocked as when David gets home and sees Barry laughing in the kitchen, dropping his suit jacket and computer case on the dining room table and heading to hug Barry. Barry eagerly accepts the tight hug, loving the affection he’s being showered in. Tears well in his eyes, choked laughter of relief escaping him. It soon turns into a group hug and no one can stop the tears from all three of them then.

 

Barry spends the night at their house, Rob and David barely managing to keep themselves from tucking Barry in like he’s eleven years old again.The next, despite his parents’ disapproval, he returns to the CCPD with David. It’s refreshing to hear everyone call him ‘baby face’ yet again, even if it’s a nickname he has always despised. It serves as another reminder that people haven’t forgotten about, helping to soothe his anxiety. He even gets a pat on the back from Joe, a surprising occurrence due to their relationship if of the touch-and-go variety. It’s always been hard for Barry to associate Joe with anything other than his dad’s arrest and conviction. 

 

He knows Joe carries around the guilt of not being able to take in Barry after Nora died. It doesn’t make up for the pain that fills Barry every time he remembers that night, seeing Joe escort Henry out of the house in handcuffs. Most of their interactions dissolve into yelling, only ending when Iris gets involved. 

 

“Your lab’s still upstairs. It’s empty,” David says when Barry comes into his office. “The replacement CSI we called in used the labs downstairs.”

 

“I’ll be back down for lunch,” Barry nods, leaving the office, anxious to see the damage done to his sacred space. As he steps out he sees Iris chatting with Joe and makes his way towards them. He stops halfway as time slows again and he catches sight of an arrestee reaching for an officer’s gun. His body moves on its own accord, dashing faster than he ever thought possible towards the man to knock him away from the gun. When it’s over he finds himself where he started, watching the officers yell and restrain the man, taking him away. 

 

He looks back at Iris, catching her worried and confused look to match his own. He smiles shakily at her, shrugging off her worry and heading towards his lab. He detours before going up the steps, heading through the station to reach the back exit. Once in the seclusion of the alleyway he allows himself to panic, staring at his uncontrollably vibrating hand. He tries to take a step forward and ends up slamming into the dumpster, his subsequent backwards steps throwing him into the rear window of a police car and obliterating the glass. 

 

He stares at his shaking hand once again, barely refraining from freaking out. His own lab can wait, right now he needs to get to STAR. 

 

~

 

They take him out to an abandoned air strip and tell him to  _ run _ . 

 

He does. Oh, boy, he does.

 

He’s never felt so free, so  _ fast _ , so connected to the earth and air, the electricity coursing around him. It feels so exhilarating to run faster than any car could ever go. It’s a phenomenal experience until he watches the yellow lightning dance around him and it drags him back to the night of Nora’s murder, watching the lightning twist around her and being helpless to stop it. It’s in that moment that he realizes he doesn’t know how to stop now, either, and goes careening into the barrells Cisco set up. 

 

His broken arm from his crash is certainly painful enough but what hurts him worse is to retell the story of his mother’s murder. It stings fiercer when he realizes that Clyde Mardon was given powers the same night he was. He’s pissed as hell that Dr. Wells refuses to own up to saving Central City from Clyde and his hazardous weather powers. His physical health means nothing if his mental health collapses from the guilt of not stopping Clyde especially since he  _ can.  _ He has the powers, the speed, to chase Clyde to the ends of the earth and keep him from harming anyone. 

 

Barry’s stubborn attitude helps change Wells’s mind, a feat he is secretly proud of. He has to admit that the friction proof suit is pretty neat, something straight from the comics he used to read as kid. He’s less sure about his ability to stop Clyde than he was five minutes ago, suddenly wishing he had more time to test the extent of his powers. 

 

When Barry races to the barn that Clyde Mardon had occupied the night of the particle accelerator explosion, his heart sinks in his chest. Joe’s there with Eddie, shooting off against Clyde and his tornado. The last thing he wants is this for it to end the way it did nine months ago, with Joe’s partner dead. 

 

Clyde easily tosses Barry away with a strong wind when he charges him, the tornado roaring in the background. His body aches as he gets up, watching with wide eyes as the tornado gets faster and bigger. 

 

“Guys! This tornado isn’t stopping! What do I do?!” He yells for help from the STAR Labs team, wishing there was a manual for dealing with a metahuman who has a god complex. As he watches the tornado spin spin spin, almost making himself dizzy with the movement, the answer comes to him. “What if I unravel it?”

 

“You’ll have to go at least 700 mph, Barry. I don’t think your body can handle that,” Caitlin replies, denting his confidence. Still he has to try, dashing off to run around the tornado in a desperate attempt to stop it. He makes himself dizzy with the rapid movement, nearly crying out when he falters and has to restart. When the tornado fades away he collapses to the ground, breaths heaving in his chest. He flinches as Joe fires his gun, landing the hit on Clyde and dropping him. He can’t bring himself to care about his mask falling away from his face when Joe runs towards him, falling to his knees in front of Barry. They stare at each other in a tense, electric moment, Barry waiting for Joe to yell and Joe at a loss for words to describe what he just witnessed.

 

“I’m so sorry, Barry,” Joe starts and Barry blinks, his eyes full of confusion. “You’re right. You’ve always been right. Henry didn’t kill your mom, a man.. A man in lightning did..”

 

Barry startles hard, unable to catch his breath at the shock. He lets out a strangled laugh, disbelief and relief warring with each other to fill his body. He barely manages to get out a quiet “ _ Joe.. _ ” before the excitement of the past few days catches up to him and he promptly passes out where he lies.


	3. a call to arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ch title by laura jansen.
> 
> this took so long i apologize omg but writing is hard. some things: 1) i've decided i'm gonna be like barry and just say 'Fck it!' to the timeline 2) major plot will probs be the same 3) who knows it's my fic i can write what i want to lol. i swear i had some serious things to say but i forgot so i guess they weren't too important.
> 
> i wrote a little oneshot about barry's first holiday season with the singhs if you want to check that out!
> 
> ok happy reading and thank u all for the kudos and comments <33

"Barry, what the hell happened?" Barry shrugs at Joe's words, ruffling his own hair in nervous habit. They're standing across from each other in Barry's lab where Barry had escaped to in hopes of delaying the questioning. Joe had called STAR Labs after Barry passed out and they quickly came to collect him before more police officers could arrive to the scene. Joe hadn't seen Barry since then, too caught up in Clyde Mardon, resorting to trying and trap him in his lab. Barry’s suddenly gotten sneakier, avoiding Joe at every turn but he couldn’t escape forever. 

 

"Um, the particle accelerator.. it, uh, gave me powers when I was struck by the lightning," Barry replies meekly. 

 

"And what? You're just gonna stop crimes now?" Barry jerks his head up, staring at Joe with wide eyes. "Yeah, don't think I didn't notice the reports of people being saved from fires this morning by a 'red blur'. A red blur that sounds awfully familiar to what I saw when you stopped Clyde Mardon." 

 

"Joe... With these powers, I can save people from fires and catch getaway cars. I can  _ save lives _ from people like Mardon _.  _ What does it say about me if I don't do that when I'm the only one able to?" 

 

"It says you're still alive and I don't have to explain to Captain Singh why his son was found dead in a red leather suit." Joe's voice is stern, making Barry's shoulders slump in defeat. Bringing up his parents is a cruel trick, reminding Barry that he's yet to tell them about his newfound abilities. 

 

Before Barry can continue to attempt to convince Joe that using his powers isn't a terrible tragedy that will kill him, they're called away to Hex's Gun Shop. Barry's eager to examine a crime scene and jump back in the swing of things, and is doubly eager to be leaving this conversation.

 

On scene Barry doesn't hesitate to pull on gloves and duck under the yellow tape, his mind going into hyper focus as he examines the wreckage. He's always loved his job, loved to search for the pieces and figure out how they fit to create a full puzzle. He listens as Eddie comes over with the security footage, the tape showing one guy but the footprints showing six.

 

"It's definitely a crew of six, see their footprints all cross," He explains, suddenly feeling awkward for having stepped in the prints to follow their pattern.  Having Joe, Eddie, and Captain Singh stare at him makes him sweat nervously, doubling the awkwardness he feels.  _ Huh, that's weird,  _ he thinks as he bends back down to check the sizes of the shoes. "Looks like they're all size ten, just like you, Captain, uh, not that you're a suspect!"

 

He winces as his father shakes his head disapprovingly, Barry regretting every moment of his life that led him to this point. Embarrassment floods his body, turning his face pink and upping the amount of nerves he's exuding. He can't watch as David shakes his head and walks away to share the information with the other detectives, Joe's words ( _ I'd rather not have to explain to Captain Singh why you're  _ **_dead_ ** ) echoing in his mind and awakening his guilt. 

 

When he gets back to the CCPD he heads back up to the lab with Joe trailing behind him, obviously not done with their conversation from earlier.

 

"Have you told Iris about this?" He asks as soon as they're through the door. Barry places his bag down on the lab table, taking out the samples he collected to start processing them. 

 

"No.. I haven't even had time to tell David and Rob yet, let alone Iris. Why?" Barry asks, placing a blood sample into the centrifuge. He groans when it won't turn on, smacking the side of it in frustration.

 

"Don't tell her." Joe's words distract him from his task, nearly dropping the test tube.

 

"What, why?! Iris is my best friend, Joe, I can't just lie to her." 

 

"Well, you're gonna have to. I'm not letting her get mixed up in all of this, it's too dangerous." Joe says fiercely, "And that goes the same for saying anything to Wally."

 

"But-"

 

"No 'but's. Promise me, Barry." He demands and Barry feels the guilt crawling back all over again. He can't keep this a secret from Iris. He knows she'd be pissed at him and he refuses. But he can't let Joe know that.

 

"I promise," he forces out, his fingers crossed behind his back. "I won't tell her anything."

 

Joe nods, turning to leave the room but not without the last repetition of _ 'you make damn sure you don't tell them anything'.  _ Barry sighs in relief as he leaves the room, banging the centrifuge once more before he realizes he doesn't even need it. He laughs in amazement as he spins the test tube with his hand, "This is so cool!"

 

It becomes infinitely less cool when he finds himself nearly dropping the test tube as he stands up, dizziness coursing through his body and making him shake. He pauses and the dizzy feeling passes, the lightheaded one lingering. It’s been happening all day, occurring after his successful attempts to stop robberies or pull people from fires. He’s never felt more alive, more in charge of fate, more confident that his father is innocent, than when he’s speeding down the city streets and leaving behind nothing more than a streak of lightning. But the wobbly feeling that follows make him feel like all this running is going to lead him headfirst into a concrete wall instead of somewhere useful.

 

He blows out a deep breath and refocuses himself on the evidence, not allowing his mind to linger on the feeling or Joe’s words. His concentration breaks when he catches Iris walking through the door, looking as stunning as always in a light pink dress. His face lights up in a smile, happy to be interrupted by this West.

 

“Hey! What’s up? You look nice,” He comments, shuffling around the papers on his desk.

 

“Thanks and you do  _ not  _ look nice.” Iris replies, Barry’s eyes shooting back to her at the jab. 

 

“What?” He asks with wide eyes, confused as to why he’s being insulted by his best friend.

 

“I’m going to the Simon Stagg ceremony today, remember?” Iris starts, her hands coming to rest on her hips. Barry hates being on the end of her angry face, no matter how toned down it is. “And you promised to come with me to-”

 

“Explain all the science stuff. Yeah, it’s all coming back to me now,” He winces, feeling terrible for forgetting. It’s been a hectic few days for him, desperately trying to dodge Joe at every turn and trying to help out around the city. Barry really shouldn’t be held responsible for remembering all the important events in his life, he sucked at it before the coma and he still sucks at it now. 

 

“How fast can you get home and change?” Iris asks, Barry laughing to himself in his head.  _ Pretty fast, say in five seconds? Maybe four?  _ He thinks, his mirth dropping when he remembers he can’t tell her. 

 

“Fast enough,” he mumbles under his breath as he catches sight of Eddie walking into his lab, asking about the evidence from the gun store. His heart sinks in his chest as Iris and Eddie awkwardly greet each other, frustrated with them both. “You two can kiss. I already know, remember?” 

 

“Right, thanks for being so cool about this Barry,” Eddie replies before kissing Iris, the smiles on their faces wide and bright. Barry can’t help but be jealous on both their accounts, half of him hating that his first and so far only love is impossibly out of reach and the other half wishing he could kiss Eddie too. He figures if he could get one thing out of their relationship it’d be the motivation to move on from Iris. “I’m sorry about making you keep it a secret though.”

 

“It’s okay,” he replied, mumbling frustratedly, “I’m getting pretty good at it now.”

 

~

 

“Okay, first things first, Simon Stagg’s work in cellular cloning has led to huge advancements in the future of organ replacements-”

 

“Are journalists allowed to drink on the job?” Iris interrupts, reaching for two champagne glasses as a waiter passes them by. Barry shakes his in a fake annoyed manner at Iris. 

 

“If you’re this bored already, wait until I start explaining the science behind cellular regeneration.” 

 

"I've missed this, I feel like we haven't spent any time together since you woke up. Before that even," Iris remarks with a gentle punch to Barry's shoulder. He smiles at her, always glad to be reminded that his presence in her life is important. 

 

"I've had a crazy few weeks is all," Barry replies, his mind flashing to Clyde Mardon, the robberies, and all the fires he's helped stopped. 

 

"I thought maybe you were avoiding me-"  _ Not you, just your dad _ , he thinks, "-because of Eddie and I dating behind my dad's back." 

 

"No, it's fine, it's just.." _ I woke up with superpowers and now I'm the Flash and I stopped Clyde Mardon's tornado and your dad saw and told me not to tell you but god I want to tell you, I need to tell you, I'mgonnatellyou!  _ His brain spits in rapid fire, the secret aching to come tumbling out. He knows now is neither the time nor place but, God, does he want to tell her. It hurt to have her keep Eddie a secret from him and hurts even worse to have to keep his powers from her. “Ever since-”  _ Bang! _

 

“Quiet down, all of you!” A man yelled over the sound of gasping women and men. Barry groans internally when he realizes it's the same perp from the gun store, standing in front of the crowd and holding his gun high. Not only that, but he has his buddies around the room. “You’re all wearing your finest jewelry! It’s like you knew we were coming to rob you. Line up, now!”

 

Barry keeps Iris at his side as the crowd quickly deposits their watches, bracelets, and necklaces into one of the men’s bags. He itches to start a fight, knowing he could stop them with the help of his speed but he can’t with Iris right next to him. When he tries, she pulls him back, telling him not to try anything, begging with her eyes for him to stay  _ safe.  _ He relents until the security guard, visibly shaken and nervous with the situation, attempts to get the gunmen to drop their weapons. Barry doesn’t hesitate to speed him out of the way of the oncoming bullets, placing him in a safe empty stairwell. He takes off after the gunmen’s getaway car until the dizziness overtakes him again and he goes crashing into the wall, landing on the ground and his eyes filling with darkness. 

 

~

 

"Why didn't you tell us you were experiencing dizzy spells?! We're your doctors! You could be experiencing cardiopulmonary failure or a transient ischemic attack!" Barry flinched in the face of Caitlin's yelling, looking to Dr. Wells for help and getting a 'mini stroke but probably not' in reply. "In science we share, we do not keep secrets!"

 

Caitlin huffs and stomps towards her desk. Probably collecting more needles to poke me with, Barry thinks. He feels guilty for not telling them about the dizziness but at first he had thought nothing of it. Just his body getting use to his powers, he figured. The guilt seems to piling on him lately, all because of secrets he's kept. He thinks of the people he's already hurt and the ones he will when they find out ( _ tell the Captain why you're dead! _ ). He pushes the thoughts away to focus on the STAR Labs team, following Cisco to his tricked out treadmill. His muscles ache in phantom pain at falling off of it, even with the protection of the cardboard boxes.

 

“Are you sure about this?” Barry asks, hesitant to step foot on the machine.

 

“Don’t worry, this treadmill’s been Cisco’ed. It can handle your speed, trust me.”

 

Barry sighed as Cisco left to join the others on the observation deck. He took one last look at the cardboard boxes before hopping onto the treadmill. Cisco gave him a thumbs up and Barry started running, his whole body becoming a blur as he moved too fast for human eyes to process. Cisco laughed in excitement at seeing his treadmill in action while Dr. Wells and Caitlin checked over his vitals. 

 

"Caitlin, look at the glucose levels."

 

"Hm. Oh! Of course!"

 

"Barry we think we know why you keep-"  Dr. Wells gets interrupted by Barry crashing into the boxes, his body shutting down once again. "....Passing out." 

 

Barry wakes up twenty minutes later, the phantom aches from before becoming very real. He groans as Cisco and Caitlin help him sit up, "I pass out again?"

 

"Brought on by acute hypoglycemia."

 

"I'm not eating enough?" He pales in the face of the forty IV bags. 

 

"We're going to have to change your diet-"

 

"You need to consume roughly eight hundred-fifty tacos, unless you're going for cheese and guac-"

 

"For tacos I recommend Tito's, on Bruckner Avenue." Barry jolts at Detective West's voice, the guilt creeping back in. Figures he would come looking for Barry at STAR Labs since he snuck away from the CCPD after the incident at the award ceremony. Joe is tense and Barry can tell they’re about to get yelled at, especially when Dr. Wells says he thought Barry had told Joe about their endeavors. “You already have a job in law enforcement, I suggest you get back to it.” 

 

“Detective, we all want what’s best for Barry,” Dr. Wells starts but Joe doesn’t let him finish.

 

“No, you don’t. If you wanted what was best for him you’d talk him out of running into burning buildings and after armed gunmen.” 

 

“Joe! You saw a man control the weather! What are police gonna do against someone like that?” Barry steps in, anger bubbling to the surface. “There’s probably more people like him and I can catch them!”

 

“Are you insane? You think just because you can run real fast you’re invincible? Barry you’re still a kid!”

 

“Joe, you’re not my father! You can’t tell me-”

 

“No, but I’m the one who’s here because your dads aren’t!” The words stop Barry in his tracks, his lungs freezing up and heart pounding harder in his chest. “Why is that? Because Henry’s in jail and you haven’t even bothered to tell David and Rob what trouble you’ve been getting into these past weeks!” 

 

“You have no right to talk about my parents! You know why my dad is in jail, huh? Because you put him there!” Barry’s eyes clouded with animosity as frustrated tears welled up. “You were wrong about him, and I might not be able to help him now, but I can save people from metahumans like Mardon. You can’t stop me.” 

 

“You think you’re so smart. All of you. I just hope you’re clever enough to figure this all out before  _ somebody _ gets killed,” Joe says with a pointed look at Barry. He huffs and shakes his head, turning around to leave the labs and Barry can’t help but hate himself for all the problems his speed has caused. He looks around at the STAR crew, taking in their solemn expressions and pulls a similar move to Joe’s, but instead of heading to the station, leaving for home. 

 

It’s empty when he gets there, Rob and David both still at work. Part of Barry is disappointed, his heart aching for a hug and the chance to spill his guts about his powers. But being alone works just as fine, when he sits on the stairs and lets himself cry.

 

~

 

“Okay, why is my dad mad at you?” Iris greets Barry when he finally heads back to CCPD and finds her waiting in his lab. He’s glad he didn’t decide to flash down the hall or Iris would’ve found out his secret a lot sooner than he’d like. 

“Work stuff,” Barry grits out, the annoyance rising in him again. He can’t stop thinking about what Joe said, about all the danger he’s been putting himself in. About the fact that  _ none  _ of his dads know what’s going on with him. It’s only been a few weeks and he already feels like keeping his powers a secret will fail drastically. 

 

“What is going on with you?” Iris sighs, picking her coffee up from where she had set it on one of the desks. She fiddles with the order label on its side for a few seconds before looking up at him. “We grew up together, Barry. Do you honestly think I don’t know when you’re happy? Or sad or lost? I’m gonna ask one last time-”

 

Barry watches as the world slows down around him, his body speeding up to make it seem like Iris isn’t even moving. He moves around her, his frustration controlling his actions as he speaks, “I’m fast now! God, I wanna tell you all about it. But I can’t, I can’t lose you too.”  When he’s finished, he moves back to spot standing across from Iris, the world none the wiser to what he just did. 

 

“-What the hell is going on with you?” Iris finishes, looking at him expectantly. Before he can open his mouth to try and explain (which he doubts would have gone well in the first place), his computer beeps to alert him that his test is done. The cells from the murderer were stem cells, which would be impossible unless the killer was a baby. “We’re not done talking about this!” 

 

“Later, I promise,” Barry says as he heads for downstairs with the results only to find the officers gearing up in bulletproof vests and Joe nowhere to be found. “Captain, what’s going on?”

 

“Not now, Barry. An armed gunmen is shooting up Stagg Industries.” David replies as he finishes fastening his vest. He pauses before his next words, not wanting his son to do anything stupid. “Detective West is there. Stay here.” 

 

~

 

Barry, of course, does not stay at the police station but speeds away the moment he steps out of sight. He arrives in time to pull Joe out of the line of fire, but doesn’t fare as well when it comes to actually fighting the meta who can  _ clone  _ himself. Barry will have nightmares about him punching the meta and more copies popping out of him from the force for at least a week. 

 

The fight leaves him bruised and bleeding, sitting in the safety of STAR Labs as Caitlin disinfects his wounds and informs him that they’re already healing. Once Caitlin gives him the all clear he heads back to work to process evidence before finding himself once again at the labs, face to face with a motionless Danton Black. When it reanimates, they figure the original Danton Black must be on the move, the obvious target Simon Stagg. He prospers the second time around fighting with the clones with the help of his team and Joe’s encouragement. He surprised Barry with his change of heart, but figures Dr. Wells must have spoke to him with the look he sent Barry. Scooping up the original Danton Black after a well aimed punch causes the clones to collapse, allowing Barry to win the fight. 

 

“It’s over,” he relays to his team, “I got him.”

 

“No!” Danton screams in outrage, slipping out of Barry’s grasp and running towards the window. He jumps straight into it, the glass shattering and raining around him as Barry speeds up grab Danton before he can plummet to his death. It doesn’t do much good when Danton grows a new hand to get Barry’s grip off of him, falling to his death. 

 

Despite Dr. Wells reassurance that not everyone can be saved, it still hurts. Barry failed today and he wonders if all the metahumans he tries to catch will just end up dead before he can apprehend them. He heads home with a heavy heart, glad to see both of his parents are home this time. Running there from STAR gave him time to think about Joe’s words, his worry of Barry dying and having to explain everything to his parents. So much has happened to Barry in the past weeks, and they don’t even know. They weren’t aware of his speed, of him stopping Clyde Mardon, worst of all they weren’t aware that Barry was getting hurt and Barry desperately wanted their comfort. They soothed his broken bones and bruises from fights as a small eleven year, assuaged his fears about being a freak and no one believing him about his father. He wanted that feeling of  _ belonging  _ back. 

 

As he stepped into the house he could smell dinner in the works and found them both in the kitchen, standing at the stove and Rob laughing about something David must’ve said. 

 

“Hey dads,” he started, catching their attention. They both smiled at the title, loving that they made Barry feel comfortable enough to call them it. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for skipping over the fight scenes but those aren't my forte and they're not really important for the story tbqh. i want to focus more on scenes that change due to the fact that barry's dads are david & rob


End file.
